don't quit your day job

Writer Slash Slightly Disgruntled Pilates Studio Receptionist.

Two weeks ago, I assumed the position of "desk lady" at Harmony Studios in West Hollywood. Taking on the position promised an eventually toned body, lots of time to write, and cash. Oh, and the opportunity to meet some people who aren't actor slash somethings. So far, I'm not seeing any results though because 1) watching people do pilates is not the same as actually doing pilates, 2) there's so much bookkeeping/cleaning/scheduling/looking-busy to do I don't have time to write, and 3) I'm even low in the cash department as I've opted to be paid in Ice-Blendeds rather than actual American currency.

Regardless, this is why I haven't been updating the site or the teaser pages of my tome. When I am not at Harmony, I am very busy following ambulances carrying ill roommates and beating 8 men and a pregnant lady at poker.

oh and writing my script. must. keep. writing. After all, I don't want to become a Slightly Disgruntled Pilates Studio Receptionist Slash Something now do I?

ok here's the first page or so, I've used the different colors to compensate for my inability to translate Final Draft formatting to HTML - oh, and be gentle on the criticism (i'm talking to you NB), it's still a work in progress and I'm fragile ;)


EXT. THE SANTA BARBARA COASTLINE - DAY

A town car drives along the shore, sandwiched between the pacific ocean and the San Ynez mountains. A never ending string of weddings decorate both sides of the boulevard. Black-tie, then barefoot, then 40 fuchsia bridesmaids, then with pets, then something ethnic, followed by “small and tasteful”... on and on...

CUT TO:

INT. THE TOWN CAR - CONTINUOUS

SIMON, late 20s, strikingly handsome, leans his forehead against the front passenger window like a melancholy drone. Happy brides and grooms dance across his face as their reflections hit the glass.

OLIVE, early 30s, dark-rimmed glasses, and TEDDY, late 20s, quirky-cute, gawk through their windows dressed formally in all-white. They read tabloid magazines and sip champagne.

OLIVE
I’m surprised Mary didn’t buy out the whole coast so no one else could get married here today.
TEDDY
Not the actual coast, just the ocean, sand’s fair game.
OLIVE
I hope Hines doesn’t regret this, I know it’s a great payday and it will be great for his exposure, but... I mean look at this.
She turns her magazine spread to Teddy. It has a picture of a trampy celebutaunt/jesus-freak/rocker in front of a lingerie store called “BOOB PANTIES.”

OLIVE
(reading)
“Mary Marvais Spends 32-Gs on her 32-Ds.” She’s horrible.
TEDDY
For 12 million dollars and keys to the Marvais McMansion? I know she’s a little jesus-tickling homophobe, but it’s only a two year contract, he’ll survive. You guys wouldn’t have let him sign if you didn’t know that.
OLIVE
This is going to be a crazy wedding.
(to Simon)
You ready for the challenge, partner?
TEDDY
(to Simon)
Ya’ll right?
Simon breaks his gaze.

OLIVE
Straight people outside taunting you?